40 WATT CLUB (549-7871)

 Thursday: Adamsday/ Filmstar/ Riff Raff Kings. I think Adam needs to take a day and learn how to use the space bar.

 Friday: Krush Girls/ Twin Towers. I hear Twin Towers is doing the theme song for “The Anna Nicole Show.”

 Saturday: The Possibilities/ The Sunshine Fix Electric Blues Band.

 Wednesday: “Herb and Skills Showcase.”

ALLEN’S HAMBURGERS (543-8309)

 Thursday: Jason Faircloth. Why can’t loincloths come back into style? I think that would be sweet. I mean think of the possibilities.

 Monday: Just Plain Livin’.

ATHENS STEAM CO. PUB (549-7020)

 Thursday: The Real Nice Time Band and Friends. As opposed to the Not-Real Nice Time Band?

 Friday: Patrick Connell Band.

 Saturday: Dodd Ferrelle.

 Tuesday: Legitimate Businessman’s Association. Started by members of WorldCom and Enron.

BOARS HEAD (369-3040)

 Friday: Kip Jones.

 Wednesday: Barry Sell. Sell what, I ask you? Sell what? I bet Barry would like to know.

CALEDONIA LOUNGE (549-5577)

 Thursday: The Eskimos/ Twain.

 Friday: Jackpot City/ Rob Veal.

 Saturday: Delphine/ Mother Jackson/ Veblen.

DT’S DOWN UNDER (543-9276)

 Tuesday: Open Mic Night

 Saturday: Live Comedy.

ENGINE ROOM (353-3800)

 Thursday: Garbage Island/ French TV.

 Friday: Overnight Low/ Three Minute Fix. I think it’s irresponsible to make our children believe they can fix anything in only three minutes.

FLICKER THEATRE AND BAR (546-0039)

 Thursday: “New Music Series”

 Saturday: Calliope Fair. I wonder if they really are or not.

THE GEORGIA THEATRE (549-9918)

 Thursday: The Damn! Show X

 Friday: Kinchafoonee. Two sets starting at 10 p.m.

 Saturday: Entropy.

 Tuesday: John Sayles’ “Sunshine State.” Isn’t New Jersey the Sunshine State? Oh wait, that’s the Garden State. Man, what a misnomer! Obviously, Newark wasn’t around when they earned this name.

 Wednesday: “The Earth Will Swallow You,” starring Widespread Panic.

GUMBY’S PIZZA (543-5000)

 Sunday: Brooks Wimberly.

INSOMNIA (316-1000)

 Thursday:DJ Kevin Dispain.

 Friday: DJ Kevin Dispain. AKA “DJ I Really Like Spinning at Insomnia.”

LAST CALL (353-8869)

 Thursday: Patrick Connell Band.

 Sunday: Carlton Owens Conspiracy. These guys aren’t really hiding the fact that they’re a conspiracy, what with “conspiracy” in the name and all. How far would the government be if they called themselves “The Government Conspiracy?”

LOCO’S DELI AND PUB (548-7803)

 Saturday: Soundtrack Mind/ Dodd Ferrelle and The TInfoil Stars/ Nathan Sheppard/ The Mystic Roadshow/ Rockstar WAllabies/ Lubbock Brothers/ Tom Crowley.

NO WHERE BAR (546-4742)

 Thursday: Ralph Roddenberry.

NU�I’S SPACE (227-1515)

 Friday: Lona/ The Young Antiques/ The High Score. I know a Lona. Perhaps this is her “other” side.

ONE LOVE MUSIC AND DANCEHALL (369-6958)

 Wednesday: Jazz with Jazzmopod. Why can’t they be called “Jazzmoped?” I had a Jazz moped one time. Everyone laughed at me.

 Friday: Mike Watson and the Blue Bones.

 Saturday: Bo Henry Band. Are they related to John Henry?

 Wednesday: “Bonefest.” New Orleans rock and funk with Bonerama and Mule Bone.

TASTY WORLD (543-0797)

 Thursday: Rock Star Wallabies/ Claire. Campbell/ Danielle Howle. Is this Silverchair’s side project?

 Monday: Exit Left/ KFA.

 Tuesday: Matt Maudsley/ Mike Killeen/ Nathan Beaver. I’m not touching that one… literally.

 Wednesday: Hayride/ Jason Lowenstein. I went on a hayride once, but I came down with hay fever and had to cut the ride short.

WILD WING CAFE (227-9464)

 Wednesday: Curtis Smith.

 Thursday: Chris Talley.

 Friday: Right Side Glows/ Bluegrass Night/ Packway Handle Band/ Last Minute Miracle Band. My mom always said I was a last- minute miracle. Then I found out I was a mistake and she just wanted me to feel better.

 Saturday: Exactus. In Latin this means extracting things from your nether regions.

— Jessica Poole and Kyle Wehrend