So long, Suzanne

After 25 years, we prepare for the Gym Dogs’ coach’s Spring 2009 retirement.

How do you find the words to say goodbye to a coach who has done so much for the University community?

Thankfully, Georgia fans have two more years to answer that question.

Gymnastics coach Suzanne Yoculan has graced Georgia with 25 years of guidance and we are not ready to bid adieu.

Athletic Director Damon Evans announced Wednesday Yoculan will retire at the end of the 2008-2009 season. Assistant coach Jay Clark will replace her.

Yoculan’s consistency and merit have been invaluable.

With Yoculan coaching, the team has won eight NCAA national championships, 15 SEC championships and 19 NCAA regional championships.

She still has two seasons to lead the Gym Dogs to national championships. And we have the faith they will bring trophies home for the fourth and fifth consecutive years.

In September, the University dedicated the new gymnastics practice facility on Carlton Street to Yoculan. She also has won several SEC coaching awards.

Her legacy of leading excellence will be difficult to follow, but we believe she will leave the Gym Dogs with all the instruction they will need.

- Juanita Cousins for the editorial board.

Take that, Nature

Desperate from the drought, we take a legal cue from a God-suing politician.

Nebraska State Sen. Ernie Chambers has been in the news recently for filing a lawsuit against God. Chambers is seeking an injunction against God for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing widespread death and destruction.

Meanwhile in Georgia, we’re getting desperate. Our resident climate experts say that the state can expect the drought to continue for the foreseeable future.

The University held Wednesday a closed-door “brainstorming session” in order to figure out a workable water policy in the face of shrinking supplies.

Chris Chiego’s Oct. 16 column aired a similar tune of discontent, blaming students for being apathetic about such a substantial crisis.

We also weep for the future, Chris. Several weeks ago, we wrote a “Dear Jane” letter to Mother Nature with the hope that she would listen to our strained, feeble cries for mercy. Predictably, she hasn’t written back, probably because she’s too busy flooding places like Texas and melting the ice caps.

Clearly, Mother Nature can’t be reasoned with.

That’s why we’re suing the old hag. Mother Nature may be a powerful force to be reckoned with in nature, but she’s never met our team of lawyers.

Though Chambers made the mistake of suing God (who is thought to be all-powerful, and therefore unable to lose the decision), Mother Nature doesn’t stand a chance. All the hurricanes and droughts in the world can’t stop our nation’s fair and just legal system. Take that, drought. Mother Nature, meet Mother Out-of-Court Settlement.

- Bill Richards for the editorial board.