“Beowulf” film a lacking take on the classic
Upon viewing the trailer for Robert Zemeckis’ new film “Beowulf,” it would be easy to mistake the Geatish warrior for the alpha male King Leonidas from “300.”
Intense muscular definition? Check.
Loud, masculinity-affirming catchphrases at just the right moment? Check.
Creepy, deadly monster-human hybrids? Check.
While for many, the thought of the Anglo-Saxon poem only recalls memories of bygone high school English classes, for Zemeckis and the writers, it was a call to make the latest early civilization action flick.
With a screenplay from Neil Gaiman, writer of the 2007 film “Stardust” and the “Sandman” series of comics, and Roger Avary, writer of the 2006 film “Silent Hill,” Zemeckis has certainly created a re-envisioned “Beowulf.”
The sweeping scenes and intense action sequences are made all the easier by the film’s entirely computer-generated graphics.
One can only hope “Beowulf” will not end up as vaguely disturbing as the animation in Zemeckis’ “The Polar Express”.
(Seriously, watch it; Tom Hanks will never be the same.)
Anthony Hopkins lends his voice to King Hrothgar, and Crispin Glover to the monster Grendel.
Interestingly, the actress behind Grendel’s mother is Angelina Jolie, doing that obnoxious faux-British accent she has which sounds like a forked-tongue alien trying to speak the Queen’s English.
It appears the writers took many liberties in creating Jolie’s character.
While most who have read the poem think of her as a repulsive monster, here she is a seductress who woos the Beowulf.
The result of that wooing is way too absurd to even mention here. The Internet, however, is chock full of such spoilers if the curiosity is too much to bear.
No matter how many fancy tricks the technophiles in Hollywood come up with to make CGI look more photo-realistic, “Beowulf” is little more than a video-game-to-be.
Perhaps Zemeckis will prove the nay-sayers wrong, and Beowulf will bring about a revolution in the film industry.
More than likely though, it will be in the “5 for $15″ bin by the time the next generation trudges through the poem in English class.


