Two Red & Black writers boldly went into restrooms all over downtown Athens to identify the pinnacles and pitfalls of public facilities, rating their findings on a scale of A-F – plus-minus included.

BEST

FIRST PRIZE: BARBERITOS

No bathroom downtown is a nice place to spend any extended amount of time, but this single occupancy restroom is tolerably clean, sports hardwood floors, and has not only a plug-in air freshener, but also an entire bowl of fresh potpourri sitting on the convenient (and clean) end table. The scent may seem overbearing at first, but in this situation, it’s better to be safe.

Overall: A-

RUNNER-UP: BLUEBIRD CAFE

This is one of the cleanest bathrooms one may find downtown, although it otherwise has little to offer. It’s spacious enough, but offers very little aesthetic appeal. The walls are adorned with one simple painting of birds, which, unfortunately, are not blue.

Overall: B+

WORST

FIRST PRIZE: THE GLOBE

Stepping into this restroom, one can only stand in awe of such a horrific spectacle. Security here is a major issue – a light knock on the door feasibly could destroy the frail lock. The toilet paper has no holder and simply sits on the back of the toilet. Graffiti here goes beyond standard bathroom poetry, even reaching the ceiling, and sanitation is nonexistent.

Overall: F

RUNNER-UP: LITTLE ITALY

This one gets the honorable mention simply for dirty green and white tile walls that are eerily reminiscent of the torture room in the first “Saw” movie. There is also no mirror, and when sitting, the toilet paper is over head height. Jigsaw would be proud.

Overall: D

BEST

FIRST PRIZE: BARBERITOS

The overwhelming apple-scented air freshener is forgivable. Besides providing a handy stand to place your things on, this restroom was clean and well-lit. Granted, having two soap dispensers was a little odd considering one was so close to the sink, it wasn’t accessible. Nevertheless, too much of a good thing is better than nothing at all.

Overall: A-

RUNNER-UP: HOT CORNER

Some things haven’t changed at Hot Corner, including its spacious restroom with vanity and coat rack. Graffiti was painted over in dark lavender, but it’s a matter of time before some coffee-addled student remedies that. A quibble: the ridiculously hard to reach toilet paper dispenser.

Overall: B+

WORST

FIRST PRIZE: THE GLOBE

Something is rotten in the state of the Globe’s restrooms. It begins with dirty white and green tiles and ends with a board replacing the toilet’s tank lid. In a cramped area, Globe worsens the effect with only two bulbs working in a four-bulb wall lamp. Further, with a flimsy lock and an unattractive exposed brick wall, this public bathroom is in serious need of a makeover.

Overall: D-

RUNNER-UP: LITTLE ITALY

Sickly pastel green is never a good color, much less for a public restroom, where “women” is written on the door with a Sharpie. The major problem is the growing-out-of-the-wall sink that looks like a 1950s relic. It doesn’t seem to have been cleaned since then, either.

Overall: C-

- Seth McKelvey and Julie Leung