Wednesday, I went out in search of the bra-burning Feminazi, and I couldn’t find her. I wanted to get a feel for the current state of feminism, perhaps to find a woman who would get spitting mad when a guy opened a door for her, and who would curse at the moving company called “Two men and a truck,” instead of “Two people and a truck.”

It seems that species of feminist is almost extinct, so I found a few level-headed feminists from the Women’s Studies department.

I spoke to them because Women’s History month just passed in March, and I wondered if they felt the celebration was too short, sandwiched in the middle of the ongoing celebration that could be called “men’s history year.” I also wanted to know if they might even take issue with the spelling of “history” itself – his+story?

There were no petty arguments with these women, who told me, “This isn’t your mother’s feminism.”

Instead, April Greene and Hannah Barfield explained to me that feminism is impossible to nail down to one definition. The concept stretches across all fields of study and basically boils down to allowing choice and equality for all mankind. Excuse me, humankind.

These two women showed me that modern feminists are a diverse group. Hannah wears makeup and carries a pink backpack, while April’s face is chemical-free and her handbag says “I love reproductive rights.” Hannah wants to get married and take her husband’s last name, and April plans to forgo the traditional marriage ceremony and hyphenate her children’s last names.

They did agree that anyone who wants to wear makeup should do so, that men and women should work for equal pay grades, and that men could be feminists.

Awesome. Hey – maybe I’m a feminist, too. Who would disagree with any of that?

They were so reasonable, they even agreed if people are going to be drafted, women should be included. Pointing to hormonal fluctuations in both sexes, they agreed PMS has been overblown by pop culture.

No doubt there are many personal cases in which that period of time is rough, but I’ve just heard far too many women blame it for all sorts of distress. It’s gotten so out of control, your friend or girlfriend can now send you alerts from PMSbuddy.com, “The Free online PMS reminder,” where you can also go to track as many women’s “cycles” as you want.

Eventually, I broke with my new feminist friends on a few backward notions of mine. For instance, I feel pretty bad sitting down on the bus next to a standing girl who can hardly reach the overhead handles. If I don’t give my seat up, I feel like that guy who stole a lifeboat seat from the women and children waiting in line as the Titanic sank. Apparently, I’m OK if I give up my seat to be polite and not to perpetuate the idea that women are weak.

But I just couldn’t go with Hannah and April on their concept that gender is really just a construct, having nothing to do with jeans, genes or genitalia.

I think there are deeper differences between the sexes than gender roles – who played with dolls and who played with action figures as kids.

Sure, socialization plays a huge part in who we are. But is it wrong to feel we are chemically and biologically different, with strengths and weaknesses on both sides? I don’t think so.

So go ahead and open that door for the girl in front of you, just don’t get in her way to do it. And I’ll go on respecting the beautiful differences between men and women because I think that’s what makes them great together – in a relationship or a work environment.

- Marc McAfee is a senior from Kennesaw majoring in broadcast news.