Ah, there’s nothing like vomiting 10 minutes into your 9 a.m. class.

Some of you must be thinking, “Uh oh, Samantha Shelton’s preggers.”

Well, a man did make me vomit, but not because I’m carrying his child . Nope, fellow columnist Marc McAfee’s Wednesday’s piece was the culprit of my sudden nausea.

I had to read it several times to make sure I wasn’t imagining the ignorance on the page, but sure enough, the more I scanned the more I heaved.

“Women who talk about sex in public have no class.” Sure, he didn’t outright say it, but it was implied.

He didn’t concentrate on the fact that he informed someone he was uncomfortable and she continued “to let filth spill out of [her] mouth.”

No, it was that she was talking about sex. In public. With her friends.

(I’ll give all the readers a few moments to catch their breath from this horrid scenario.)

Recovered? Good.

At least Mr. McAfee acknowledges, “this isn’t just about women,” he and his friends are just as “crude” and “maybe it’s time to raise the quality of [their] dialogue a little bit.”

Women, you better extinguish the sex talk with your girlfriends but guys, just try to tone it down when you’re recapping your one-night-stand, while still adjusting yourselves in public. Now that’s classy!

Women weren’t being oppressed in McAfee’s grandmother’s days, because he “can’t imagine [his] genteel southern grandmother in her 20s talking about the things [he] heard.”

And if he can’t imagine it, it couldn’t possibly have happened. Of course women didn’t have sex back then, and if they did, they certainly wouldn’t have discussed it with their friends because women back then, “had something that’s dying pretty fast these days. Class.”

I wonder if this logic derives from being delivered by a stork. I’m surprised he even had time to write this offensive piece of trash while polishing his wish list to Santa Claus.

Ladies, we need to talk about sex with our friends and partners. We ARE allowed to enjoy, desire, and discuss sex, but do avoid “family restaurants” with columnists who “visit” your beautiful waitress friend.

Is it classy to go up to rare acquaintances and start discussing any personal information?

Not really, but McAfee admitted he had “talked to them enough to make them comfortable around me.”

So it’s not a question of just being randomly open about your sex life in front of strangers, I think common sense can solve that moral dilemma.

However, McAfee didn’t use that as his central argument. In fact, he openly offends women by telling them what doesn’t equal class. Thank you!

I thought Manolo Blahniks, Cabernet Sauvignon, and a new SC10 were my ticket to being classy. Shucks.

So, if you want to exude class you must ax the sex talk. But wait a minute, Mr. McAfee talked about sex. He wrote an entire column on someone else’s sex life which was so perverse it ruined his barbecue, that thousands of people whom he’s never met read. So, how do you define class again, Marc?

We’re adults. Having sex is a mature decision and if you’re going to do it you should feel complacent to talk about it.

But if you’re hanging out with someone who isn’t comfortable with what you’re discussing, change the subject.

It doesn’t matter what you are talking about! It matters that you are knowingly annoying/offending someone who has already politely asked you to stop.

That isn’t classy.

And, if you are involved in a conversation that’s going down a road you don’t want to, make it very clear in a respectful way, don’t look like a “deer in the headlights” because guys, that’s kind of what you look like when you have an orgasm.

- Samantha Shelton is a senior from Auburn majoring in women’s studies and newspapers