Banning cigarettes will not solve any problems

In Justin Crews’ article on Monday, Jessica Muilenburg is quoted as saying “Any ban [on cigarettes] is a good thing.”

I wholeheartedly agree. Miss Muilenburg is totally right about paternalistic government policy – after all, who are we mere plebes to decide what to do with our own bodies? Thank God that we have bureaucrats who can wisely decide what we put into ourselves and force us to obey their ideas of what’s right. Without them, who knows where society would be?

Miss Muilenburg must be an expert historian and economist, as well as a Public Health professor, as she clearly knows the results of other prohibitions. She must know that alcohol prohibition totally solved all of the ills of the world, that nobody was able to get alcohol during that time period, and that crime didn’t dramatically increase as the mob had incentive to get into the alcohol business – all thanks to women like her who fought the good fight against ‘bad’ substances!

She must also know about current drug prohibition, which has been 100% successful in prohibitively raising prices and decreasing the potency of illicit drugs, as well as made it totally impossible for people to be able to get drugs these days. Let’s not forget that drug prohibition has also been successful in suppressing far more dangerous substitute drugs from being created due to said prohibition, such as meth and crack. Those two drugs certainly haven’t been a problem in this country!

Thank you so much for the article on Muilenburg. I am grateful that we have such genius on this campus.

Jacob Lovell
Grad. Student,
Tiger, Ga.