Furloughs, health care, the budget … who cares? At the Open Mic with Mike last night, I knew the main thing on everybody’s mind was Florida, Florida, and Florida. So what about the game?

“I think we’re going to win,” Adams said. “The key [to victory] is obvious to anyone who plays Florida – you stop Tebow.”

And was the UGA President tired of hearing how great Tim Tebow is?

“No, I’ve met him, I think he’s a really nice young guy, and I think he deserves the publicity he gets.”

Oh God of Tebow, we already have to hear everyone on TV, and even our own coach talk about how “special” the guy is – when will it ever stop? I have a prayer for you:

“Heavenly father of the only admitted virgin in SEC football, please have mercy on the Bulldogs and reveal his Achilles heal to us. We need to know – what is this guy’s weakness?

Does he get down and dirty with some pretty secretive women?

Does he have a thirst for alcohol which he tries to satisfy by turning bottles of Gatorade into wine?

Or is this guy’s only weakness that he looks at the playbook almost as much as the good book?

Because Jesus H. Tebow, that isn’t going to help us much.

God, I think you’ve answered enough of young Tim’s prayers to last him the next 20 years of this matchup-formerly-known-as a rivalry. Let’s look at a few:

Nice smile and manners, check.

Size (where it matters on the field), check.

Heisman Trophy, check.

The touch of a woman? Tim won’t tell … but I hear he’s worked with some young Filipino boys …

Please God, if you’re not too busy with Tebow’s prayers, do you mind telling us how we can beat this kid? We need you now. Because if you look at the record of this matchup over the past few years, you haven’t been there for us. Thanks, Amen. Oh – and don’t let him touch Herschel’s record.”

Well if God won’t help, I guess we’ll have to turn to the stats. Do any point to a way for the Dogs to do it?

Let’s just say I hope coach Richt has found something everyone else hasn’t, because these damn Gators are number one at just about every stat you can find. For God’s sake, they haven’t allowed one yard on a punt this entire year, and they trounced Stafford and Moreno by 39 points last year.

So what is going to happen this year?

I think we’ll win – I really do. And then all those lopsided stats between the two teams will become part of one of the greatest football stories in Georgia history. Hey, we’re due for a real history-making game. Florida is tired, and we’re rested.

Besides, our team has nothing to lose in this game but the massive chip on its shoulder. Nobody expects anything out of us.

Even if every man on our team goes down injured while trying to take a bite out of Tebow’s ankles – and we lose out the rest of the season – no one will care. As long as we toppled Florida.

Don’t say it’s impossible. If I’ve learned anything from the last few tumultuous seasons of college football, it’s that nothing is certain.

Nothing except the certainty that the sportscasters this weekend will enjoy throwing out the terrible stat that makes all Georgia fans cringe: 3 wins in 19 years. If we win Saturday it will be 4 games in 20 years. Not much better, but it’s a start.

What do you say, fellas? How about hitting Tebow so hard he’s delivered to the right hand of God the Father, where he’ll be welcomed with open arms as the patron saint of College Football? (As if he isn’t already.)

Let’s do it. Sic ‘em.

- Marc McAfee is the online editor for The Red & Black.