Do you remember the girls at your high school who won “Best Hair,” “Best Dressed” or were half of the “Best Couple?”

“Young Adult”

Diablo Cody does, and if “Young Adult” is any indication, she didn’t think too highly of them.

Charlize Theron plays Mavis Gary, a shallow, urbanite author of young adult novels in the vain of “Gossip Girl” or “The It Girl.” Her days consist of 2 p.m. hangovers vegetating to episodes of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” that boil over into blind dates and drunken, regrettable sex. When she receives an invitation to celebrate the birth of her high school flame’s first child, Mavis makes it her mission to save him from what she views as domestic slavery. As she pursues her delusional conquest, Theron reveals just how tragically unfeeling and self-absorbed her character really is.

Using the prom-queen archetype, Cody plays with the idea of an unsympathetic protagonist: there is a stark contrast between Theron and the populous of her small-town past, who are lively and enthusiastic about their “Ken-Taco-Hut” and local bars. Patton Oswalt is a dorky home brewer who was cripplingly beaten for being gay — though he isn’t actually gay. Patrick Wilson is a former jock/musician and new father — and the object of Mavis’ mad quest.

Meanwhile, it is impossible to align with Theron’s character because — as her hair extensions, layers of makeup and misdirected elitism emphasize — she has no personal substance. Her internal monologues are excerpts from the books she is ghostwriting, in which her heroine lords over the average and unassuming with her supposedly peerless beauty and wit. She tries to be a social chameleon, changing from long cool woman in a black dress to rocker chick to Stepford wife, but none of Mavis’ changes mask her desperate lack of character.

Forcing the audience to follow a character they don’t want to have any attachment to is interesting, since it alienates the audience in a way few writers are willing to. It is ineffective, though, because of the direction of Jason Reitman, who also directed Cody’s “Juno” and produced her “Jennifer’s Body.”

Reitman feels the need throughout the film to beat the audience over the head with symbols and comparisons that show just how detached Theron’s character is from society. She globs on layers of makeup to look remotely normal, she drives a sporty red mini-cooper and the soundtrack to her life is a single song of an outdated mix-tape. By the end, it is apparent that the movie is just unashamedly bashing pretty-ugly people.

At random points, Theron will blurt out barely-humanizing plot points concerning a failed marriage and a youthful miscarriage. But these are trivialized as they are quickly glossed over, as though suburban families aren’t titillated by the same drama that the movie condemns. Even the would-be hate crime against Oswalt seems like no big deal.

All of the characters are the same at the beginning and end of the movie. Apparently there was no real point or message.

Walking through the Ciné lobby, the only thing I was inspired to do was watch less MTV — and I don’t have cable.

Catch “Young Adult” at Ciné through tonight.