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Southern Discomfort

No jokes, no finger pointing and no sarcastic remarks today. Out of respect for the individuals involved in the April 16 tragedy at Virginia Tech, I believe nothing trivial should be written this week.

There are no other ways to say it that haven’t already been said, but my heart goes out to the victims, as well as their families and friends.

Southern Discomfort

Before I begin, I’d like to give an overly patronizing shout out and thank you to the folks involved in the alleged ADPi bus ride shenanigans. You validated the points I tried to make about the Greek community a few weeks ago so much better than I could have myself.

Southern Discomfort

Given the touchy nature of today’s topic, and the simple fact that we’re located here in the South, I might not make it out of this one alive.

If you don’t hear from me again, it’s likely my head has been mounted on someone’s wall, situated between a 12-point buck and a jackalope – or maybe just above a Bigmouth Billy Bass.

Southern Discomfort

Today, I’d like to clear the air for some people who just don’t quite get it.

I have an answer to a question that seems to be weighing heavily on some of your minds: No, it is not okay to smell like a foot on a daily basis. Not even a little.

About once a day, I feel as if I’ve been punched in the face by some fetid phantom limb as I walk through Tate or the SLC, and that just stinks (pun intended).

Southern Discomfort

There he or she is – the person of your dreams. Perfect looks, a winning smile and a laugh that melts you into a puddle of gooey goodness every time you hear it. You start to ask yourself if there could possibly be anything wrong with this person.

Then, right on cue, a fountain of filth and profanity gushes forth from their lips like a tsunami over Japan.

Southern Discomfort

Alright, you ingrates. Someone call shotgun, sit down and shut up. This is one for the road.

I wonder, when’s the last time someone actually waved thanks after you allowed them to merge? How about the last time you saw someone signal before they made it into the other lane? Yeah, I couldn’t remember either.